From Bondage to Freedom

The moment you make a decision you are drifting; you are changing track. The decisions that you make depends on the options that you have. The options are in your mind in the form of thoughts. You pick up a thought and act or not act on it. The thoughts that you have today depends on your birth and your birth in not in your control. You cannot choose your parents or the family or the environment in which you will be born. This is decided by existence or God or Nature, whatever you may call it. Today If I am an engineer, the Idea of being an engineer must have come from my parents or from the education that was provided to me by my parents. The thought must have come to me from somewhere outside, which depends on the environment in which I was born and my birth was not decided by me. So whatever I do, it is the decision of creation or existence or God. So we see that we remain confined to our small world. This is the case with everyone of us. We are bound by our world in which we were born. And we keep circling within our small worlds. We are limited within our small worlds. Our actions are limited by our thoughts and our thoughts are limited by our births. We are constantly drifting, but drifting within our worlds. Whatever we do, we are confined to our world. In the modern times, our small world is the whole world because we all are connected. We know what someone else is doing, who may be half the world away. We can get ideas and thoughts from someone else who is half way around the world. Whatever we do, we are as if chained to our own worlds. This is the case with all the people in this world. Each one of us is acting according to the thoughts they have. All of us being born in the same connected planet have similar thoughts and we act according to our thoughts. Millions of people have similar thoughts and when so many people are acting on similar thoughts using their will power (only when your will is acted on a thought there is action), they are bound to clash with each other and there is bound to be conflict. There is bound to be suffering. Someone will win and someone will lose. No one can always win. There has to be loss and one cannot win all the time. This is the wheel of the world and it is dangerous. Because of this the world is made of opposites – Happiness and sorrow, of victory and defeat, of good and bad. This is why our lives are full of both. One cannot say that one will always be a winner and one will always be happy. This is the case with everyone. To an ordinary man, he is born into bondage. Being in bondage he suffers. He cannot get out of this bondage.

If you look closely, every day we make decisions are all decisions are for ourselves. We all want to earn money, we all want to have a good position in society, we want power, we want to be famous, we want to do great business, we want a better job, we want a good house, and we want a peaceful family, a good husband, a good wife, good children and a lot more. In every action of us there is an “I” or “ME” included. There cannot be action without this “I”. Everything that we do is for ourselves. The decisions we make every day is because of this “I”.  There are millions of people in the planet, working for their “I”. This “I” makes us act. This “I” makes us move forward in life. And all these “I”s are bound to clash with each other. There is suffering, there is conflict, and there is killing and violence. The world moves because of all the “I”s otherwise there would be no movement. The wheel of the world moves because all the “I”s and this wheel is dangerous. It creates enormous suffering for all the people.

There are two ways to freedom from this bondage.

  • One, if you decide NOT to drift at all. You decide not make a decision at all. You decide once and for all not to act on your thoughts, whatever your  thoughts may be, whatever may be the source of your thoughts, and you will  not act. You leave the world, and become a recluse. You do not care about this world – you do not care about your parents, wife, children or husband. You do not care about anything at all. You do not care about what will  happen to them if you leave them forever. You say “I don’t want anything” and leave. In this path, only the “I” remains and everything else is renounced. If you are the “I” and the world is “you” – the “You” or everything other than “I” vanishes, leaving only the pure “I”. If you see closely using your intellect, then you will know that the “I” exist because of the “You”. Without the “You” there is no “I”. So, when the “You”  is completely removed by slowly renouncing the “You”, when the “You” is no  more, the “I” also vanishes – leaving you enlightened – leaving you completely Free. You become a Buddha.
  • Two, if  you decide to drift as and when required as if the drift is being done by      Creation or existence. You will provide no resistance to drift. This is  just the opposite of the first method. You decide to be in this world, drift and change course. You care about everything, do everything; you use your will to act on your thoughts. But if you act on all your thoughts then there s bound to be conflict. There is bound to be suffering. What to do then? The problem is not because of your action, but on the results of the actions. The results cause suffering – the results make you win or lose, the results make your victorious or make you a failure. The results will make us drift in life. In this method, you have to leave the results in the hands of God. In this method, you will just drift and not bother about drifting.

If we are being driven by god, then all we have is free time. The journey is his responsibility, ours. We do not know where we will drift, where we will change course. He will drive us to our goals; we need not bother to reach. If you look back, we have been drifting along all our lives and the point where we are today is because of all the drifts that had taken place in the past. So, we have lots and lots of time. Time does not matter. One need not be in a hurry at all. Even if you are late, it does not matter. Even if you miss something it does not matter. For example, in a 10 hour journey, what do you do? You may read; you may listen to music; you may chat with other co passengers or with anyone travelling with you. You are free to do whatever you want. You may look out of the window and enjoy the scenery. You may go to sleep. Whatever you do, it is not going to affect the journey. Because whatever you do, you are journeying in the right direction. No time is going to be wasted.  You need not worry about what will happen if you do not do what you are doing during the journey. You may do something or not do something – it does not matter.

Similarly in life, whatever you do, no time is going to be wasted because you are driven by God. If you cry, you are not wasting time, if you read or if you celebrate and enjoy your journey, you are not wasting any time.

If the results are in his control, then we are free from the results, then the responsibility is on His shoulders or on existence. He will take you wherever He has to take you and He is will definitely take you.

If you are crying – you are passing time by crying

If you are angry – you are just passing time by being angry

If you are doing business – you are passing time by doing business

If you are driving – you are still passing time by driving

If you are working – you are still passing time by working

If you are sad – you are passing time by being sad

If you are depressed – you are passing time by being depressed

If you are celebrating and rejoicing – then you are passing time by celebrating

If you are serious about something or someone – you are just passing time by being serious

If you are fighting with someone – then you are passing time by fighting with that person

If you do not do anything – even then you are passing time by doing nothing

When you are passing time, you are just passing time, there is no responsibility on you – you can take work as a play, whatever you do – and when you are passing time, without any responsibility of results – you can celebrate.

All you do is just pass time – you have nothing else to do – there is no hurry – your arrival will be decided by him – and in the mean time you have to pass your time. And while in a journey we always enjoy. At least the journey is enjoyed – we do not know what will happen when we arrive – but relax and enjoy the journey because we are not driving the bus or train, we do not have to bother about the route, we do not have to bother about whether we are in the right direction or not. We know that we will arrive and this makes us relax. Remember that this journey is an unending journey so there is rejoicing and celebrating all our lives. There is freedom all our lives – no matter where we are and what we do.

In the process of being drifted, understand that God is drifting you, this drifting is your journey and during the process – celebrate and enjoy – whatever you are doing, wherever you are – just enjoy – know that what you are doing does not matter and wherever you are does not matter.

Do whatever you are doing, but change a little in the way you think. You have to keep in mind one line “NOT ME, BUT THOU ART”.

You do whatever you do, but know that it is not for you that you are doing this but for the other.

  • If you are getting married – You marry for not your happiness, but for the happiness for your spouse.
  • If you are earning money – you are not earning money for yourself or for your happiness but for your family and others
  • If you buying a house – you are buying it for the happiness for your family for the safety and security of your family
  • If you are working – you are working for the betterment of your family – to give them a good life
  • While taking decisions, while acting on your thoughts – know that all your actions will be for the other and not for yourself
  • If you are struggling – know that you are struggling for others and not yourself

It will be as if, you are slowly removing yourself from the picture, leaving behind the conflict. It is as if you are making the wheel of the world move freely by not being a block and getting crushed in between. It is as if you are making the life of others easier by not being a block on their way. It is nothing but just a change in the thought process. In this case, you put yourself last and others ahead of you. This will help to slowly do away with the “I”. The “I” will slowly vanish and you will be left with only “you”. And when the “I” vanishes, the “you” also vanishes leaving you enlightened – you become a Buddha.

Redeeming Ourselves From the Chains of Time

We all have very little time.

Yesterday we were in school, today we are working, earning money, having and maintaining a family. Tomorrow we will be old, we will retire from work and one day – die. We definitely have very little time. If you look back it will be as if it was only yesterday that we were in school. The time fled like frightened birds.

The question is why time is so short? What makes time short? Why do we have so little time? Why do we always say to others that we have little time and we have to hurry up?  You must have noticed, we are always in a hurry. When we are walking, eating, driving, working, we are always in a hurry.

We have 70-80 years of life and we have a million goals, millions of things to achieve, all small and big in these 70-80 years of life. So the time required for each goal is hardly anything. And our goals increase everyday. If you divide the time of 70-80 years of life with the number of goals that we have we have an average time to achieve every goal – less than a minute and we invariably have to hurry, whether we achieve the goals or not. In the pursuit of our millions of goals we go mad. The goals are big, each and every goal is very bid indeed. They are gigantic. To achieve them takes time, definitely not less than a minute. So, this makes time so short. This makes us run around like fanatics. We do not have time to breath, to relax and have fun. It is most of the time a do or die situation.

Time comes into the picture because there is a limit – the fact that we will die one day, which is not very far puts a limit and brings time into the picture. For us everything has to be done in time, otherwise we will miss it, we will be late and death is approaching. So we run, we fight, we kill, only to achieve our goals.

This is not only with you, it is with all the people in the planet. Starting from the beggar in the street to the highest of emperors – everybody is running after their goals. The goals may differ in magnitude – but the struggle to achieve them is same, humans have limitations and the struggle and the strive to achieve is the same for all human beings. Humans cannot be strained beyond a certain limit. Even while striving, the maximum effort that we can put is the same for all, the maximum human effort is the same for all, the goal may be different – different in magnitude, different in what we want to achieve. But the strain we go through is same for all. And all of us have a time limit. The same limit. Death limits us. One day we all will die. This makes us all same, whether we are an emperor, or whether we are a beggar in the street, we are same.

The question is whether these goals are utmost necessary? Will we not live without these goals? What will happen to us if we do not have or run after goals? From where do these goals arise? Why do we chase our goals like mad people and would go any extent to achieve them? What will happen when we achieve these goals?

Let us see from where these goals come and are they utterly necessary:

You must understand that we are internally strained and there is a lump of energy inside us – we were born with it and this energy needs to be released; this is our objective.  We know that a baby cries the moment he or she is born – this proves the fact that we were born with some uneasiness. From where this uneasiness has come. A new born baby need not be strained at all – mentally or physically. But the baby cries the moment he or she is born. There must be some uneasiness. We have been taught not to cry, we have been taught that only cowards cry so now we have stopped crying, but no one has taught this new born baby not to cry but still the baby cries.Crying is the only way to express this uneasiness for the baby. This itself proves that there was previous birth. It proves that the baby carried this uneasiness or excess energy from its previous life. This proves that there was life before birth and there will be life after death. The uneasiness that is there will be carried to your next life, if not mitigated in this life.

Our objective is to bring this stress or energy we were born with to a null. But we don’t know how to, so we blame the external conditions for this state of us. Since we are strained inside, we have an uneasiness inside and this uneasiness we call unhappiness. And because of this uneasiness we are constantly looking for happiness – all around we are looking for happiness. If we were not unhappy, why would we look for happiness, it is very simple. Whoever we see happy, we tend to follow them. We see a rich man, we see a apparently happy couple, we see someone driving a good car, we see someone doing good business, we ASSUME that they are happy and we make what they have today into our goal tomorrow ASSUMING THAT WE WILL BE HAPPY WHEN WE HAVE WHAT THEY HAVE TODAY. We are so much into our search for happiness that we fail to see that they are also strained inside and no matter what they have today will not make them stop.They were also born with the same unhappiness. This is how we decide our goals. Our search for happiness, because we are strained inside, leads us to look for happiness outside and imitate what we see, hoping that we will be happy tomorrow, if we follow others. Our goal is nothing but imitation of others. We are so ignorant that we do not know that they are also under the same strain inside, they are not free either and are looking for happiness around.

You must have seen that we are making or chasing goals at all points of our lives .This is because we are not happy with with what we are doing or having now. There is still to achieve because we are not yet satisfied. But the truth is that we will not be satisfied unless the uneasiness is completely done away with. If we look back, it is not that we have not achieved anything – we have – but are not satisfied yet. We have till date achieved a lot, but it is not enough. We want to have more. We are not satisfied, there is an uneasiness always present within always and all the time. If the uneasiness would not have been there, we would not have had goals at all. Then we would not have been looking for happiness. But it is not the case. No matter how much we achieve, there is need for more. We just do not want to stop, ever. These goals are our driving force. This uneasiness inside makes the world around. Without these, what would we do. But it is also a fact that no matter how much we achieve, there is need for even more. After achieving one goal, the uneasiness goes for some time, but soon the uneasiness comes again and again we start running. And at the same time, time is running out. This strains us more. Very little time and so much to achieve.

Lets say, suddenly you have achieved all your goals that you have had till date – what after that? Will we stop or we will again start running? Will ever a day come when we will have nothing to achieve?

It is a fact that we will die one day, but what is there for the rush? Why are we rushing, fighting and straining ourselves so much? What will happen if we know that we will die tomorrow? Where will the goals be at that time? We will invariable give them up? It would be foolishness to try and achieve those goals in a day’s time and at the same time impossible. One day before our death, we will still remain who we are. The rush and the fight will be foolishness.

We assume that we will live till 70 or 80, but it is just and assumption. The 70-80 years of life is an assumption based on observation, and this gives us some time to pursue our goals and make all achievements. But death can come anytime.

So all our goals are based on assumption that we still have time to be happy – but very little time. We may die the next moment. Since our goals are based on assumption, the time we would take to achieve the goal is also assumption – But the question is still not answered.The question is why a goal at all? – whether we have time or no time at all – why is there a question of a goal?

This, like I said before, is because we are uneasy inside and in the process to do away with the uneasiness, we create goals by looking at others, which creates further uneasiness. We are constantly falling into a trap.

When things go wrong in our lives, we are sad not because of the event, we are tense because we don’t know when will it get over and we will be back to normal again. The question is again of time. We are tensed because we are running out of time. For us normal means chasing goals and aiming a good life. For us even normal is also not without time. Time is always a factor.

To have goals we need time – because whenever we have a goal, we will have to achieve them and will consume time. So Time is required for goals.

We will not have goals under two conditions 1) If we have infinite time 2) If we have no time at all.

If we have infinite time, even if we have goals, we will not hurry – we would stop. Everything would stop. All the hurry and running in our lives will immediately stop. We have experienced that whenever a deadline is postponed, we immediately relax. We slow down. We then do whatever we want to do, we play around, watch a movie, go for a holiday – If the deadline is extended till infinity – you would stop working because the goal will no longer exist. The presence of limited time brings the goal into the picture.

So infinite time gives to complete FREEDOM. Time makes you a prisoner. So, if the time we have is increased till infinity – we would completely relax and would be completely free. Or if we make ourselves completely free – it would mean we have infinite time – we would become deathless.

If we have no time at all – then there would be no goal – even if there is goal, there is not time to achieve it – so having a goal becomes meaningless.
If you live in this moment, you have infinite time and if we have infinite time – we come back to this moment, we start living in this moment. Actually, both having no time at all, and having infinite time are one and the same, because in both cases, a goal or a target to achieve is meaningless.The way to infinite time is having no goal at all.

Only a BUDDHA lives in infinite time or no time at all. Both these situations are same. A Buddha is immortal.

We mortals live in between. We live in time. Neither do we live in this moment nor in infinite time. This makes us mortals. Living in time brings us immense misery.

I agree that we will live for 80 years. But what is the need of having a goal? All our goals are for happiness. We think that if we achieve our goals, we will be happy, but we have witnessed that we are never contented – there is always an uneasiness inside. One goal after the other, this and that, this place or that, but we are never contented. We always feel that we need more time but there is always lack of time. We need to be free to do what we want. What is the need to do what we like? We think that doing what we like to do, will make us happy. But this never happens, there is no end to it.
The question always is to be happy – but unfortunately whatever we do, wherever we go, we are never happy – we are continuously, without fail, night and day, in pursuit of happiness – why this pursuit does not end? We are constantly in pursuit of happiness because we are continuously unhappiness inside. This is because of the constant uneasiness inside. And we were born with this uneasiness. This has to be understood.

We see that all of us are pursuing happiness. There is a great need for all of us to be happy.

Happiness is the goal of us mortals because we have little time. This little time leads us to setting goals and increase our internal strain that we were born with; and in that short time he or she has to be happy. The Day you stop pursuing happiness, you become immortal, because then you are not bound by time.

Actually the problem is not with the outside, the problem is the strain inside of all of us. The constant uneasiness is our problem. And we keep blaming the outside, whoever or whatever it may be, for our problems. We blame the outside because we do not know from where this uneasiness comes. We are ignorant. It has to come from somewhere. So we blame others for this uneasiness. The outside cannot solve our problems no matter what we do. No matter how much success we achieve or no matter how much we gain, this uneasiness is to remain unless it is understood and mitigated. This is independent of our achievements or failures in this world.

This is with all of us starting from the greatest of Kings to the beggar on the street. The need to be happy all the time, no matter how much we achieve success the strain and uneasiness remains and we never stop our pursuit for happiness no matter how much success we achieve – suggests that there is tension or uneasiness constantly present inside us and this tension we have inside has nothing to do with the success or failure we come across in our lives.

This tension or uneasiness has nothing to do with success or failure in the material world. This has nothing to do with what work we do – it does not matter what we achieve or not achieve, it is not dependent on whether we aim big or we aim small. This strain will go away when we go beyond the chains of time. when we become infinity, the day we realize that we have no death. This will go the day we become a BUDDHA.

This is nothing personal with the uneasiness inside – you were born with it. Every baby is born with it. Otherwise you would not have cried the moment you were born. And the mother and the father of the child starts covering the uneasiness to stop the child cry. They give the baby every comfort, every toy as per their capacity to stop the baby cry – they cannot help it because they are connected with the baby with so much love. The child grows up and becomes a man, then he starts covering his own uneasiness with things – sometimes he wants money, sometimes a car and sometimes a girlfriend or boyfriend.

This uneasiness is the driving force – due to this uneasiness we work to cover up our inner turmoil – we work to keep ourselves engaged all day, we work to earn money so that we can give ourselves the toys we love and cover up the uneasiness.But the uneasiness does not go. We keep buying toys for ourselves but the uneasiness or energy does not get mitigated.
We mistakenly think that this uneasiness will go if achieve success in the material world. We think that when we achieve this or that, this uneasiness will go, but the happiness that will come with the this success will be just a very small cover for the ever existing uneasiness inside. THIS UNEASINESS IS INDEPENDENT OF THE SUCCESS OR FAILURE IN THIS MATERIAL WORLD. But we add fuel to this uneasiness. We strain ourselves. We are strained already, but we,instead of relieving ourselves, strain ourselves more and more.

We fall in a trap. We know that our time is limited. It is true as long as we not realize that we are timeless. The strain that we carry with ourselves from our birth till date is there and we add further strain to it. Since there is a strain, we are always uneasy inside and in order to do away with this strain. We do not understand that the strain is not ours, it is carried from our previous birth and with this strain we are always sad, depressed and uneasy. In order to mitigate this uneasiness, we create goals and think that we would be happy when we achieve our goals. And our goals have to be time bound, because we have little time.This strains us even more and adds to the strain. When we fail to achieve our goals, we add to the strain further because we have lost precious time. The point is not about failing to achieving the goal, the strain is about loosing time and having lesser and lesser time. Our all fears are about loosing time, that is why we do not try anything that is time consuming – because we fear that all the time will be gone and there will be no time to be happy. And whenever we try we put a time limit – it has to be because we mortals are not infinite yet. If we would have had infinite time, the failure would not have made any difference to us. This loosing of time leaves us with more strain because everyday, as time passes, we are left with lesser and lesser time and more and more strain. strain because the goals and the achievements remain the same only time decreases. The number of goals and targets always increase in number and the time decreases leading to more strain.

So the existing strain that we have been carrying from our previous birth, makes us set more goals towards happiness and this leads to further strain. So our goals add fuel to fire.

We have to understand that we have not yet realized our ultimate potential – that is to be a BUDDHA. This will happen the day we have completely done away with the strain inside that we are carrying. Though we have the potential to be a Buddha. Every human being has this potential in him or her. On that day, the strain that we have been carrying for centuries will be completely done away with, and simultaneously all goals will be done away with. We would become timeless and deathless. We would become a Buddha. But this has to happen in its own accord. Whenever the time comes it will happen, but we have to prepare the ground for it to happen. It will happen when the ground is ready. But we misunderstand and think that to mitigate this ever existing stress inside, we need to be happy and set goals for ourselves. We set more and more goals and strain ourselves further with decreasing time.

What we need to do:

1. Stop Pursuing Happiness – Pursue something tough, something you have never done before – something out of the world – Delete the word happiness from your dictionary – Because happiness is not your goal – Understand your goal.

2. Understand that our ultimate goal is to do away with this ever existing internal stress completely and be a Buddha, this is our ultimate goal, no matter how many goals we have on the way.

3. Understand that we are still not a Buddha,still not timeless and infinite but at the same time we have the potential to be a Buddha. Every human being has.

4. We are still mortals, we have to live in this world with others. So instead of having millions of goals and trying to mitigate the stress by having more and more goals, have ONLY ONE goal in this life. And slowly do away with all other goals. Whatever ONE goal you have, make it timeless by keeping the deadline at INFINITY. Lesser the goals, more the time. Remember that the day we have no goal, we become immortals. We become free. The Goal is in INFINITY because, to completely rule out the possibility of being happy after achievement of the goal. And we have one goal, so no question of any happiness.

5. We have to be brave, because in the process towards to out goal placed at infinity, lot of people will come an go, lot of connections will break, there will be a lot of pain and misery, but you should not get distracted. This will lead to non-attachment (This is the message of the Bhagwad Gita).

6. Always remember that whatever stress is there in the form of emotions, we have inside, has nothing to do with what happens outside and whatever action we do, will not mitigate the stress. But we should not add more energy to it.

7. Understand that the all our problems are because of the stress inside, which we have been carrying from our previous birth – not to involve the external situation for our emotions.

8. Be impersonal to the stress in the form of emotions that we have inside.

This way we prepare the ground. And then one day when the time is perfect, the stress and uneasiness inside will completely vanish leaving you TIMELESS and INFINITE. You will be a BUDDHA.

The Will and its Infinite Potential

There are time when we have to wake up at 4 o clock in a cold winter morning to catch a flight or a train. The moment the alarm rings,  we wake up. We feel like sleeping a little more, we do not feel like getting up at all. Who will wake up at 4 o clock in a cold winter morning, get ready, and go to catch a flight? This is the first thought we have the moment we get up. But we do get up, get ready, travel to the airport and catch the flight. What makes us do this in such a situation? It is the WILL. The mind says that we must not go, but the “will” takes us through. The will is responsible for action.
Sometimes in life, we have to face worst situations, we have faced and we have survived. What takes us through? The WILL.
We wake up everyday in the morning and go to work, we take care of our family, we talk to friends, we party – we do a lot of things – so much of doing is possible because of the presence of the WILL. The will becomes prominent when the situation around worsens as per the mind. The mind trembles, fears, but the will does not – all actions that we do everyday are because of the WILL. The will makes us act, or otherwise, we will remain confined to our minds. You have to understand that the will is not the mind. It is something different. If the will was the mind, then we would have all our lives done nothing.
The will comes into the picture when there is an obstacle in the path. We act because there are obstacles. Without the obstacle, there is no WILL and there is NO action. Smaller the obstacle, smaller the will. The will and the obstacle are directly proportional.
The WILL is neither the mind, nor the brain, then from where does the will come? It is the infinite, that is present within ourselves that gets converted into WILL. It is existence, it is the supreme intelligence that gets converted into the will – since humans are capable to converting this supreme intelligence, the intelligence of the universe into WILL, humans are infinite – we can go any extent – we can reach the stars – but we are restricted and confined by our small minds – this is our problem – because of our minds we remain restricted to small things – we do not dare to dream big.
The will comes into the picture whenever there is an obstruction – WILL makes you act – WILL is required for action – WILL comes into the picture whenever you need to stand straight in spite of severe conditions around you – There is thought and there is action – the thoughts are from the mind; both positive and negative thoughts – but the WILL makes you act on the thoughts – The WILL gives power to the thoughts –
If you dream big  – the obstacles will be more and greater will be the WILL – No matter how much you make the will stronger, the will can grow more in strength – it is in one word INFINITE – So human beings are also infinite. But we have not realized our true potential.
So to realize our true potential we must have goals which are very high – and we must with all our will take the challenge to realize  our goal – The Goal should be so high that it Brings out our true potential. To realize our true potential is to make our will so strong that it becomes equivalent to GOD – and then you are liberated.
If your mind is full of good thoughts, then the power of the WILL will translate these thoughts into action – Our goal should be action   at the highest level – because if we act at the highest level – we will require a WILL that is at the highest level and it will then lead us to LIBERATION.
Two things are required:
1) GOOD THOUGHTS
2) GIGANTIC WILL
We must work in a way so as to make our WILL so strong that one day we are liberated – LIBERATION SHOULD BE OUR GOAL –

Why We Hate? – The Exercise

This is a continuation of my post – “Why we hate?”. As I have always said, in order to like or love, you have to first eliminate hate. You cannot forcibly eliminate hate or forcibly love. Love is always there, but it is clouded by hate. You have to remove hate by understanding. Once hate has been removed by understanding, love will automatically happen. So our effort should not be to love, but to remove hate.

I have written about an exercise in my post – “why we hate?”. I am doing the exercise myself, to make you understand clearly what I meant in my previous post.

I have made three columns – The first column contains all the “I”s. It contains what makes us who we are, in the second column I have written the person or the situation that make us who we are and in the third column I have written when we start hating the person responsible for making who we are.

What makes you “YOU” Person/Things concerned that makes You “YOU” When we think that we are in trouble and hate the person concerned
I am a good person Society The society has given you a label of a good person. If one or more person in the society calls you bad or not so good, you start hating that person and love those who call us good
I am 30 years old Society Any one who calls you older or younger that what you are, you start hating that person
I am a son/Daughter Father/Mother If by any change, my parents disown me, we become depressed
I am a father/Mother Son/Daughter When your son or daughter leaves you, you become sad
I am a husband/wife Husband/wife When we go through a divorce, we suffer and ultimately start hating the spouse of causing you so much trouble
I have a good looking husband/wife Society Someone says your spouse in ugly, you hate that person
I am good looking Society Someone calls you ugly – you hate that person
I have a healthy body Myself/society Someone comments that you are looking sick and down, you hate that person
I am a friend My Friends when your friends leaves you (goes to another city) or when he is no longer a friend, when he no longer listens to you, hatred slowly develops
I am an Employee in a Reputed Company Company when the company asks you to leave, you hate it.
I am the owner of a car My Car When you car is no longer your car or is stolen or has been damaged or has broken down, you are sad and eventually think about selling your car – you start hating your car or the person who lead to that situation
I am the owner of a house My House When you have to sell your house for some reason or the other you feel sad
I have money in my account The money when you loose money, you are worried and sad
I am famous in my fiend circle My Friend circle when you lose importance in your friend circle, you are sad
I am educated My school/College when someone calls you that you are behaving like an uneducated person, you hate that person
I am a student My school/College When, due to some reason or the other, you are asked to leave you school, you hate you school or college
I am a teacher My students When one or more students leave you, you are sad
I am someone’s adviser The person(s) I advise When the person who seeks advise from you no longer does so, you are initially sad, and then start to hate that person
My Goals Person/Things concerned that will make us achieve our goals. When we think that we are in trouble and start hating the other
I want to be rich Money (Through work or Business) When you lose you job or your business suffers or when you lose money you are sad and hate the person who is responsible for this loss
I want a promotion My Manager You hate you manager for promoting some other employee instead of you
I want to start a business Money, Idea, Co-founders, Customers Someone does not invest in your company, someone disagrees to lend you money, your team disintegrates and all of then join another person, or you business has started and then somehow your products don’t see, your prospective customers do not buy you product – you start hating the person responsible for not allowing you to start a business
I want to be famous & renowned Society The society does not consider you famous. You hate to live in the same society and change your city or may be country (some people do change countries)
I want to be a writer My Idea, Publisher, Readers You do not have a proper Idea – you hate yourself, you find someone already has the same idea and has already published – you hate yourself, your publisher does not agree to publish your book -you hate the publisher, the readers do not consider you a good writer – you start cursing all of them you has disagreed
I want a bigger car Money Somehow you are not able to have that money required to buy your favorite car – you hate the person or the situation responsible
I want a bigger house Money Somehow you are not able to have that money required to buy your favorite car – you hate the person or the situation responsible
I want another kid spouse Your wife does not agree for another baby, you hate you wife and may be you will think about divorce
I want to look good Society Someone says that you cannot be that good looking – you hate all the people who have said that you cannot be that beautiful
I want a good looking spouse Spouse You will not marry till the time you find the person of your choice – any by any chance if he or she is not upto the mark, you will hate her
I want a rich spouse Spouse Your spouse was rich when you married, but due to some reason or the other, he has lost all the money – you hate him or her an eventually think about divorce
Since I am good, I want all my colleagues to like me Colleagues You will hate the colleague who says that you are not good
I want the whole world to love me, whoever I meet the whole world This is not possible – you will hate the whole world and eventually hate yourself for not being that good so that everyone loves you
I want a peaceful life situations around Life keeps changing all the time – in case there is a crisis – you will hate yourself and you will be suicidal
Every 3 months I want a vacation Money, Time, Manager There are possibilities that you may not have money, your manager did not approve you leave application, may be your have other more important work and you had to skip your vacation – you will start hating every person or situation that did not allow you to have the vacation
I want to tour the world Money There are possibilities that you may not have money, your manager did not approve you leave application, may be your have other more important work and you had to skip your vacation – you will start hating every person or situation that did not allow you to have the vacation

The whole of the first column is imaginary and it is called your ego. These are all desires and they help you to be who you are. Otherwise who will you be? But all these things are cause of your trouble. Whole life, in order to realize these identities, we chase one thing or the other. If these are imaginary, than what is real? The place where you are reading this post is real. This moment – here and now is real. Everything else is just a dream. You you watch yourself – your actions and your thoughts very carefully, you will see that every single word uttered or every effort made is towards realizing the “I”s in the first column.

We hate when someone does not help us realize our first column. All our hatred arises from our desire to keep the “I”s alive. Anyone against this first column of ours, he is our greatest enemy.

The moment you know these identities of yours, these “I”s, you will know why you hate. The moment hate comes, if you are aware, you will be relate between your hate and your imaginary Identity, your “I”.

We search for peace of mind. We search for happiness. But how can we be happy and satisfied when we have much to do. Each “I” interferes with the other. And after all, trying to have peace of mind is also an attempt to realize one of the “I”s.

For someone like Gautama, the Buddha, the first column is Blank. This leads to the peak of “peace of mind” that a human being can attain. It leads to enlightenment. It does not happen by making – “peace of mind” a goal, else it would be one of the contents of your first column, but by doing away with the goal.

Having “peace of mind” as a goal is an interesting topic for discussion. We will discuss about it in another post.

We cannot do away with the first column, it does not happen so drastically But if we, GIVE A PAUSE, between our actions, if we watch ourselves, if we develop awareness, we will have a choice. You will know the driving driving force behind every action of yours. The driving force has enormous momentum, the moment you pause, the momentum is lost and you can then change you action from what your mind is saying and what is requirement of the moment.  Then these “I”s do exist for sometime, but they do not have any power on you . Yo being to change.

Ego and the Advertising Industry

Ego and the Advertising Industry:
 
This is very important, from the point of view of generating a need for a particular product. Besides our basic needs, all other needs are work of the ego. Before you go ahead with this post, I would like you to please go through the post – “Ego – The Greatest Obstacle to Creativity and Innovation”.

Our Egos are making the whole Advertising Industry run. They bombard your mind with information about some beautiful product again and again leading to the formation of another self. 

You have seen advertisements are repeated many times. This is just to make the imagination from vague to concrete and help you to develop another small identity among many other identities of yours. 

They are repeated to make the identity stronger by making your imagination stronger about the product.

Once you develop an Identity, there is again a clash between your so developed  identity and  reality and you start getting uneasy because you do not own the product. 

When you see reality you are sad that you do not own the product, because simultaneously you imagine yourself owning the product. 

This makes you split. No one can remain at ease being split. This becomes a cause for massive trouble. Most of the time you end up buying the product or shift your focus to make another imaginary identity become real, just for the sake of avoiding it. But the identity once formed, does not die. One day you will surely end up buying the product. 

If you buy it, the product ends up making you feel good by making your imaginary identity become real, and putting and end to your uneasiness. 

The company ends up selling a product.

 

Link

I intent to connect innovation and Creativity with spirituality. Creativity is about creating something new, creating something which does not exist as on date. 

Anything new can be created only when the old has been done away with. 

All our knowledge of the past and our thinking is based on our knowledge so all our thinking is of the past. So nothing new can be created by thinking. 

Innovation and creativity HAPPENS. It cannot be forced or thought about.

It happens when all the Old has been thrown out of our mind. The moment our minds are clear of the old. The new has no option but to fill our minds. This happens happens in its own accord. Nothing needs to be done. 

Your only job is to do away with the old, the rest happens on its own. You need not target to create something new. Whatever you target will be mind based, will be old. The new happens. The new is always at your doorstep, only you have to allow the new to enter. You have to just open the door.

Our only job is to understand our minds. Once understood, we are out of it, because when you understand, you will be very clearly be able to see it. Whenever the mind talks, you will be able to hear it clearly and relate. Once you watch your mind, you are not “it”. 

To see the past you have to be in the present. Being in the present is doing away with the past. The present is the new. Present is creation. It is like standing on the hill top and looking at the valley.
 
I am trying start from the very basics, which will not be taught in any B-School. There will be many obstacles but according to me there is one major obstacle, which is your Ego. 

To do anything new, one has to first do away with the ego.  The ego is old, it is the product of conditioning. To do away with the ego, one has to first understand the ego. If you understand your ego well, you can be a very very successful entrepreneur, and not only and entrepreneur, you can become anything you wish to, the whole sky will be yours to fly. Let us try and understand the Ego.
Understanding the Ego:

When a child is born, his mind is blank. It is space. There is no difference between the mind of a child and outer space. It contains nothing. I don’t know if there is anything the new born child carries with himself from his previous life. So I am not commenting on that. Let us assume that the mind of a child is blank.
 
Slowly as the child grows up, the space gets filled up with information. The mind has a capacity to store huge amount of information, it is called memory. As the child grows up, he learns. He learns from the society. He starts learning from his parents who are also a part of the society. Besides the society, there a lot of information that the child keeps taking in by himself.

Role of Society in the Development of the Ego:
 
Society consists of yourself, your parents, friends, school mates, teachers, the shopkeeper and everyone you can think about.

The society has certain rules. These rules are not new, they are as old as our civilization. 

The society had defined the good and the bad, right and the wrong. 

Society has drawn lines, or rather I should say lanes. Just like lanes on the road and you have to follow these lanes.
The moment you deviate, you will be fined. Fined by the society. 

So by the time you have grown up, you have learned the rules, and the moment you have learned, you are a part of the society. 

The society with these rules wants to have you as a part of it. The society is afraid, that in case you are not a part of society, you might be a problem for them. 

With these rules the society keeps you in control. The society keeps you in fear and you are afraid to change lanes.
 
The society believes in defining everything.  

The Society knows that only by definition and making people adhere to these definition people can be kept in control. 


The society has defined your profession, the society has defined you personal life. 


And anything beyond this definition is felony. The society will not accept you if you flout the rules and you will be condemned. People will look at you with suspicious eyes and you will be left alone. 


This is because all other people who have been following the rules become a team, they become the crowd and you are left alone if you dare to deviate. If you flout they make you an outcast. So everyone wants to be a part of the crowd, no one wants to be alone or to be declared an outcast. 


That is why people are not ready to change lanes. It creates fear. The fear is only of “alone-ness” and nothing else. It is the fear that no one will come to you support. It requires enormous amount of courage to flout these rules.


But you have to flout them in order to be different, in order to be new. Because the society is old.


The society is mostly responsible for development of our ego because day in and day out we are following the rules set by the society. We know these rules by heart and never flout. These rules are every day and every hour being injected in our mind and it is bound to create the ego. This is why people in the same society have the similar egos. Having similar egos they all have all the same identities that have developed with time. So they are all friends, they belong to the same clan, they form a crowd.


Role of the Child Himself:
 
The child also fill up his minds with information. 

When the same information is being input into the mind again and again, it becomes prominent. This is conditioning.


Child initially gets attached to his mother and when he is not able to see his mother he starts crying. 


The child gets attached to his home and when away from home he starts crying. 


You must have noticed that a child is not able to stay in a place other than his home for a long time. He wants to go home. 


The child gets attached to his family members and when some guests come to visit you house, the child starts crying. He cries because there is a change. There are new members and this is not tolerated. It does not go with what happens usually. The world “usually” is very important. Whatever happens “usually”  becomes prominent and leads to conditioning and formation of the Ego. And here the guests are “usually” not there.
 
When a child starts going to school, he starts crying because it is a new place, there are new people which is again a matter of concern for the child. He was so attached to his parents and his home and now he sees them no one. You must have noticed that children are so happy when they are on the way home from school. When they go home they get what “usually” happens. 

This is how when the same inputs are repeated again and again, it makes a mark in the mind and we cannot imagine or think beyond the mark, because this mark becomes our memory and add to our knowledge. 


The child knows nothing but his home and his parents. This knowledge tells the child that he belongs to the house and his parents. His knowledge gets confined only to his parents and his house, because there has been no other repeated input of information. Anything other than his home and parents is new to him. He is afraid of the new place, the school. He does not know what to do or talk. He does not have his savior, his mother, with him and he feels insecure. This newness becomes a matter of concern for the child and he starts crying. For the child the situation goes out of control.


The same thing happens to us when we go out to do something new. Something that no one has done before. For us to, the situation goes out of control. Our savior in this case is the outcome or the result. When something new is being done, the outcome is unknown and it becomes a matter of mental tension. This is why we avoid doing new things and thus fail to innovate.
When the child starts crying, know that he has developed an Identity. 

We do not cry since we are grown-ups. We keep doing the old, the “known”.

His identity is – “himself in his house with his parents”. He defines himself in his mind as ONLY “the son of his parents”. 

Our Identity is whatever we are till date. If we are a lawyer, we develop an identity as a lawyer. If we are an engineer, we develop our Identity as an engineer and we resist any change.

In the initial few days, wherever he is in school, he is physically present in school but since his mind knows only his home and his parents, and there has been no repeated inputs from his school environment, his mind imagines only his house. 

The mind is capable of imagining only the house and his parents. This shows that our mind is capable of imagining only what it knows and nothing more. The imagination is confined to the memory and memory consists of only knowledge. 

We cannot imagine anything that we have not learned. We have programmed ourselves. We cannot imagine anything that is not us. 

This is our greatest hurdle.

Imagination that is not confined to the memory is divine. 
But it is very rare.
He starts imagining the house, because his imagination is based on his knowledge and he knows only his house and parents. But in reality he is in school, he sees the teacher and hear her voice. The moment he knows that in reality he is in school, he starts crying. Crying because, the inputs that are coming from the school environment are being blocked by the memory of the child consisting of the his house and parents.  This crying continues till inputs to his brain, from the school environment is repeated again and again and he develops another identity of his, that is, “the child in school with his teacher and other children” – he starts defining himself as a student. Now he has two identities – child at home, with parents, and child in school with other children. The other children become known faces and adds to his memory with time. The child after spending some time in school has two identities. First, the child in his house, with his parents and second, the child in school, as a student with other children and teachers.
I have used the example of the child because when he starts going to school, he has only one identity. It is easier to explain. When we grow up, depending on what kind of inputs are repeated we develop other identities. We develop hundreds of identities depending on the kind of inputs our mind was injected with.
“The ego is the sum of all these identities that we have developed in the course of our lives till date. The development of the ego is called conditioning”.

Conditioning is the Greatest Hurdle to Innovation
Role of Knowledge:
Knowledge is another major factor responsible for the development of the ego. All knowledge also comes from the society. 

All knowledge from books, magazines, television  and all other media is responsible. 

For example, if you read about a big, stylish expensive car again and again, you will start imagining yourself driving that car again and again. The more you imagine, stronger this identity of you driving this car becomes. Then you are not happy with any car other than this car. You will despise the car you drive. Because driving your car and your imagination of you driving this big stylish car clash and you are more with your imagination. This becomes a cause of your unhappiness and you long for this car and eventually end up buying this car. You become happy. It was nothing, just the realization of one of your identities.

You forget that this was not the end of you unhappiness. You have, up to this date, developed hundreds of Identities and are continuously developing Identities.

By the time we have grown up, we have developed so many identities that it becomes very difficult to accept other identities or other situations that keep coming in the course of our lives. Different situations are bound to come, because it is the very law of nature. Our uneasiness increases day by day and you must have noticed, almost all of us are unhappy most of the time.

The Role of an Entrepreneur is to “Temporarily” put an end to our unhappiness.
Of all the identities, we are more attached to few of them depending on the number of time the information injection was repeated, depending on the number of times a similar situation was repeated. And these become the major identity, others are minor. 

The major identities offer maximum resistance when these identities are in the verge of changing or getting modified. 

Most of the time we are major identities. No matter what we do, in our imagination, we are our major Identities.

We believe that we are this major identity and would die but not be anything else. But the sad part is, this is all imagination. All imaginations are false and all our egos are false.
We may happily shift identities from one identity to another, but anything new his resisted. 

If anything makes us happy understand that the current situation in which we are in, has matched with one of the identities that we have developed in the course of our life till date – The situation is  termed as “Good” and anything that does not match with one of these identities is termed and “Bad” and makes us unhappy. 

We start labeling things depending on whether it matches with one of our identities or not.
Identities keep forming from time to time as we keep adding knowledge. These identities are so high in number that they are all jumbled up and distinguishing them becomes almost impossible for us. 

But these identities are not dead or have dissolved. They very much exist. But we do not know that they exist. All these identities are the basis of  our desires. 

Your desires are nothing but the gap between your real identity, your identity here and now and your imagined identity. 

The more identities you have, greater the more the number of desires. It is very complex. None of the desires die they always remain dormant and are become alive whenever this particular identity is invoked.

Fulfillment of desires are nothing but the actualization of the imaginary identities. You see an advertisement of a beautiful car. You start imagining again and again that you are driving that car. An identity forms – the identity is “you as the owner of the car”.  This identity adds to your collection of identities. You may be doing other things, and other identities are also forming, but the identity that you own that particular car also exists. It gets jumbled up with other identities, it gets lost inside your head, but it is still there. The moment you see that car, your memory is invoked, and that identity again comes into the forefront. When you drive your car, you are not happy because because, you have already developed another identity with that particular car. No identity dies. All of them are stored in your head and constitute your mind. Every identity is one desire that stays in your mind, and stats till the imaginary identity is realized. Identity is realized is same as the fulfillment of desire.
Throughout the day, depending on situations that come up externally, these identities are invoked. There is an identity associated with every external situation and it comes up. When you are doing nothing, your major identity is invoked. So, you never see reality completely. Your reality is marred with your imaginations, with  your desires.
Since there are so many identities and all jumbled up that it is almost impossible to remember or know them separately. We do not know them but they keep functioning. We become unconscious of the presence of these identities and we get merged with our identities that become our identities. We become our egos. We become old because the ego consists of knowledge and knowledge is of the past. Any new situation, that makes us anything else other than those that were developed over the years, is resisted. When we are forced, we go mad, because our label is being taken out and thrown away. Then we will belong to nowhere, no part of any society, no group and will be thrown into the unknown sea maybe. And this will not be tolerated. We are ready to kill anyone who would force us to be anything else, because if we are not one of the identities that we have developed, we are no one. Anyone who creates a situation that would snatch away our labels, become our enemy. The person who tries to destroy our major ego, our dwelling place, become our greatest enemy. We are foolish enough to take all these identities as the truth.
We most of the time dwell in our egos. We dwell in the imaginary world which gives us the same identity as our major ego. Any new situation, we start imagining the situation which gives us the same identity as our major ego. So at any point of time, there are two or more worlds for us – One, the current situation, which is new and the other situation, which is imaginary, which gives us the identity of our major ego. 

You  may have noticed that whenever we do not like a situation, we start talking about something else, start imagining something else. We start imagining the situation or start talking about a situation that makes us who we think we are or that makes us our major ego. 

Maybe there are more imaginary worlds. But there is only one real world, that is the current situation. 

The moment this happens we are split. We are split between these worlds. We divide our time between these imaginary worlds and the real world. If your major identity is very strong, you spend maximum time imagining yourself in the situation which gives you your major identity. You are physically absent from the current real situation.
If you are completely mad you are all the time dwelling in your imaginations and you are completely unaware of the current real situation. Then you are physically present in your current situation but your speech is about some other imaginary situation. Since you are unaware of your current situation you start talking out loud and people start calling you mad. But if you have some amount of sanity left in you, you would keep quiet but your inner voice talks.
The inner voice then starts talking. With the imaginations in mind, whenever you are in the current situation, you argue with it, call it bad , you hate it and you want to run away from it. The inner voice  starts comparing the current situation with the imaginary situations. The present situation becomes a burden because it is real and you cannot do away with it. You want to imagine more and more and your are being again and again pulled back to the current situation. Your argument continues till the current situation changes. While you are in your imaginary situation, you are feeling good, you do everything that you would be doing if you were actually there, but in your mind. You talk to the imaginary people who are present in your imagination, you scream, you walk, you dance. Everything mentally with the help of your inner voice. Externally you are quiet but, internally you are continuously talking. You are shifting from one imagination to the other and you internal dialogue changes and goes according to the imaginary situation.
You, most of the time dwell in your imaginary situation being your imaginary identity. Being the imaginary identity you play your role in your imaginary world and at the same time condemn, complaint about and criticize the current situation. You are, most of the time, your major identity, which is your ego and your talk from your imagination becomes the internal voice in your head. This is nothing but the voice of your ego, who is constantly talking. The dialogue mainly consists of arguing, commenting, condemning, guiding and Instructing. I have told you before that we divide our time among the current real situation and the various imaginations that come up. 

Whenever we are in a situation that is labelled as “bad” we tend to argue and whenever we are in our imaginary worlds, we play our role there, whatever may be the identity in that particular imagination, we play that role in our minds. We do everything that we would do if the imaginary situation was true, but only in our minds. As we keep shifting from one identity to another, the situation changes and our dialogue changes. Imagine how split we are and I do not know how we are surviving  with so many identities. It is certainly a disease.

This voice is baseless and away from truth because it is a product of imaginations. 

Since we are one with this voice our actions become baseless  and we keep making mistakes again and again. If you are more with your ego, your action reduces, you become lethargic, because you are most of the away from where you are. How can you act? You can only act when you are completely present where you are. If you not act as per the situation, this will surely go out of control and you will end up making a blunder. 

Your life gets better and better with reduction in your imaginations. When the imaginations vanish, the inner talk stops. And one day when your ego is no longer there, you are enlightened. You arrive home. Wherever you are, it becomes your home.
As there are so many identities and all are entangled and jumbled up, we have lost track of them. But invariably the are present. They become a part of your mind. 

Similarly we have no track of all the dialogues associated with every identity of ours. 

But they are very much there. This voice becomes our guide. 

Since we are unaware of it, we follow the voice religiously. What the voice says we say, being merged with it. When the voice argues we argue, when the voice criticizes we criticize and when the voice condemns we condemn, a situation.  When the voice instructs us to act, we act. We become a slave to the voice and we are unaware of our slavery.

Awareness is the way to do away with this voice.