If we watch ourselves carefully, we will know that we are always in a hurry. Whatever we are doing, walking, eating, driving, working, we are always in a hurry to finish. But we do not know the reason for our hurried-ness We do not know what will we do after we finish what we are doing now. But we are always in the hurry to finish.
This hurried-ness comes is unconsciousness. We don’t know but we hurry. If you read my post “Why we hate? – The exercise”, you will know that we are not one, but we are divided into so many identities. Some of then we are already and the other identities, we want to be. But this whole thing is imaginary. All the “I”s are imaginary.
We are in a hurry because, we fear that if we are late, we might cease to be what we think we are, we may no longer be the “I” we think we are. These “I”s make us who we are, otherwise who we would be. But the strangest part is that, all these “I”s are imaginary and we keep chasing and protecting these “I”s all our lives. It is just like you imagine someone has thrown a ball high up, an imaginary ball, thrown high up by an imaginary person, and you run to catch the imaginary ball in reality. This is madness.
All those things that are in your mind are imaginary, they cannot be real, but take them to be real, they make us who we are, how can we let them go? The only reality is here and now.
In your mind, automatically you are put in a situation, good or bad, whatever, and then another “I” emerges rationalizes the situation. If it is a bad situation, the “I” says “don’t worry everything will be fine” and if it is a good situation, you rejoice in your imagination. But the unfortunate part is that everything is imaginary, except what you are doing here and now.
In your mind, several “I”s emerge and they keep talking with each other and the “Real” you does something else. But we are not able to do something else, we get involved in the argument or discussion between the “i”s in our mind. By “We” I mean another “I”, forms and takes part in the mental discussion. Two “I”s are discussing and we take the form of another “I” and join the discussion in our mind, all imaginary. “I” after “I” forms and we are lost in the discussion.
The moment we take part in the discussion, we are lost from the real world. If we are walking our walk takes the rhythm of the discussion that is going on. If we are driving, our driving takes the rhythm of the inner talk. This happens because we remain unaware of the inner talk. The moment you are aware of the inner talks, the inner talk stops.
Most of us are unaware of this inner talk. I have devised an exercise that would let you know your inner talk. It is as follows:
Most of the time, when we are walking with someone, we see that the speed of our walk increases and becomes very fast. We are continuously talking and our walking gets faster and faster and reaches a point where our legs start to ache. Then we slow down. Till the time, our legs did not ache, we did not realize that we are walking so fast. But we did not start with an intention or objective to walk fast. But it happened. This happened because, our walk took the rhythm of our talk.
The same happens when you are walking alone. We start slow but then the speed increases when we have walked for some time. We think we are alone but we are not. What will happen to all these “I”s. We are actually many, may be hundreds, all alive and kicking! They are talking discussing their survival strategies. And every moment another “I” emerge and take part in the discussion, all imaginary, but we think that it is us.
The walking exercise:
Start walking alone on a road or a park, a place which is not so crowded
With time your speed will increase but you will not know about it.So I suggest you put an alarm so that it reminds you in 10 minutes time after you have started.
The moment the alarm rings – stop for 5 minutes – you may sit, if you find a place to sit nearby
Just watch your mind – The thoughts and you walk were “synergizing” each other. They were moving at a same speed, the thoughts in your mind, and your walk. The thoughts had also taken up a momentum. The moment you stop walking and sit. The thoughts, having a momentum, will continue in the same speed for some time. This is the time, when you will come to know your inner chatter very clearly.
Start walking very slowly after 5 minutes of sitting. – I mean very slowly – you will notice that the chatter will be minimum when you walk very slowly. Keep walking for 10 minutes very slowly. In these ten minutes, if you are aware, you will slowly feel that, as time is passing after you have started walking slowly, the intensity of the inner chatter is increasing very slowly.
These 5 steps will very clearly let you know you inner chatter. It will let you know what you are thinking all the time. You are discussing all the time in your mind. In step 4, when you watch your mind, things will be very clear. If you continue with this exercise for 5 days, you will know all your major inner arguments, because our arguments are all repetitive.
Once you know your inner chatter, you will realize that you are not actually who you think you are. You will come to know that you are most of the time an imaginary identity in your mind, discussing with all other identities.
Then your actions will change, because, you will earlier only aware of the inner chatter and took it for reality. Now you will have options, whether to act as per the requirement of this moment or go as per the inner imaginary chatter in your mind.
These imaginary identities are kept alive only by thinking. The more you are unconscious, lost in your mind, the more they are prominent and alive. The more you throw the light of your awareness on them, they vanish. This is the reason why humans are always thinking, they need time to think, they need time for relaxation, so that they can always think, unconsciously, and keep them alive.
Knowing your inner imaginary chatter, and understanding that it is all imaginary and acting as per the requirement of the moment will completely change your life for the better.