From Bondage to Freedom

The moment you make a decision you are drifting; you are changing track. The decisions that you make depends on the options that you have. The options are in your mind in the form of thoughts. You pick up a thought and act or not act on it. The thoughts that you have today depends on your birth and your birth in not in your control. You cannot choose your parents or the family or the environment in which you will be born. This is decided by existence or God or Nature, whatever you may call it. Today If I am an engineer, the Idea of being an engineer must have come from my parents or from the education that was provided to me by my parents. The thought must have come to me from somewhere outside, which depends on the environment in which I was born and my birth was not decided by me. So whatever I do, it is the decision of creation or existence or God. So we see that we remain confined to our small world. This is the case with everyone of us. We are bound by our world in which we were born. And we keep circling within our small worlds. We are limited within our small worlds. Our actions are limited by our thoughts and our thoughts are limited by our births. We are constantly drifting, but drifting within our worlds. Whatever we do, we are confined to our world. In the modern times, our small world is the whole world because we all are connected. We know what someone else is doing, who may be half the world away. We can get ideas and thoughts from someone else who is half way around the world. Whatever we do, we are as if chained to our own worlds. This is the case with all the people in this world. Each one of us is acting according to the thoughts they have. All of us being born in the same connected planet have similar thoughts and we act according to our thoughts. Millions of people have similar thoughts and when so many people are acting on similar thoughts using their will power (only when your will is acted on a thought there is action), they are bound to clash with each other and there is bound to be conflict. There is bound to be suffering. Someone will win and someone will lose. No one can always win. There has to be loss and one cannot win all the time. This is the wheel of the world and it is dangerous. Because of this the world is made of opposites – Happiness and sorrow, of victory and defeat, of good and bad. This is why our lives are full of both. One cannot say that one will always be a winner and one will always be happy. This is the case with everyone. To an ordinary man, he is born into bondage. Being in bondage he suffers. He cannot get out of this bondage.

If you look closely, every day we make decisions are all decisions are for ourselves. We all want to earn money, we all want to have a good position in society, we want power, we want to be famous, we want to do great business, we want a better job, we want a good house, and we want a peaceful family, a good husband, a good wife, good children and a lot more. In every action of us there is an “I” or “ME” included. There cannot be action without this “I”. Everything that we do is for ourselves. The decisions we make every day is because of this “I”.  There are millions of people in the planet, working for their “I”. This “I” makes us act. This “I” makes us move forward in life. And all these “I”s are bound to clash with each other. There is suffering, there is conflict, and there is killing and violence. The world moves because of all the “I”s otherwise there would be no movement. The wheel of the world moves because all the “I”s and this wheel is dangerous. It creates enormous suffering for all the people.

There are two ways to freedom from this bondage.

  • One, if you decide NOT to drift at all. You decide not make a decision at all. You decide once and for all not to act on your thoughts, whatever your  thoughts may be, whatever may be the source of your thoughts, and you will  not act. You leave the world, and become a recluse. You do not care about this world – you do not care about your parents, wife, children or husband. You do not care about anything at all. You do not care about what will  happen to them if you leave them forever. You say “I don’t want anything” and leave. In this path, only the “I” remains and everything else is renounced. If you are the “I” and the world is “you” – the “You” or everything other than “I” vanishes, leaving only the pure “I”. If you see closely using your intellect, then you will know that the “I” exist because of the “You”. Without the “You” there is no “I”. So, when the “You”  is completely removed by slowly renouncing the “You”, when the “You” is no  more, the “I” also vanishes – leaving you enlightened – leaving you completely Free. You become a Buddha.
  • Two, if  you decide to drift as and when required as if the drift is being done by      Creation or existence. You will provide no resistance to drift. This is  just the opposite of the first method. You decide to be in this world, drift and change course. You care about everything, do everything; you use your will to act on your thoughts. But if you act on all your thoughts then there s bound to be conflict. There is bound to be suffering. What to do then? The problem is not because of your action, but on the results of the actions. The results cause suffering – the results make you win or lose, the results make your victorious or make you a failure. The results will make us drift in life. In this method, you have to leave the results in the hands of God. In this method, you will just drift and not bother about drifting.

If we are being driven by god, then all we have is free time. The journey is his responsibility, ours. We do not know where we will drift, where we will change course. He will drive us to our goals; we need not bother to reach. If you look back, we have been drifting along all our lives and the point where we are today is because of all the drifts that had taken place in the past. So, we have lots and lots of time. Time does not matter. One need not be in a hurry at all. Even if you are late, it does not matter. Even if you miss something it does not matter. For example, in a 10 hour journey, what do you do? You may read; you may listen to music; you may chat with other co passengers or with anyone travelling with you. You are free to do whatever you want. You may look out of the window and enjoy the scenery. You may go to sleep. Whatever you do, it is not going to affect the journey. Because whatever you do, you are journeying in the right direction. No time is going to be wasted.  You need not worry about what will happen if you do not do what you are doing during the journey. You may do something or not do something – it does not matter.

Similarly in life, whatever you do, no time is going to be wasted because you are driven by God. If you cry, you are not wasting time, if you read or if you celebrate and enjoy your journey, you are not wasting any time.

If the results are in his control, then we are free from the results, then the responsibility is on His shoulders or on existence. He will take you wherever He has to take you and He is will definitely take you.

If you are crying – you are passing time by crying

If you are angry – you are just passing time by being angry

If you are doing business – you are passing time by doing business

If you are driving – you are still passing time by driving

If you are working – you are still passing time by working

If you are sad – you are passing time by being sad

If you are depressed – you are passing time by being depressed

If you are celebrating and rejoicing – then you are passing time by celebrating

If you are serious about something or someone – you are just passing time by being serious

If you are fighting with someone – then you are passing time by fighting with that person

If you do not do anything – even then you are passing time by doing nothing

When you are passing time, you are just passing time, there is no responsibility on you – you can take work as a play, whatever you do – and when you are passing time, without any responsibility of results – you can celebrate.

All you do is just pass time – you have nothing else to do – there is no hurry – your arrival will be decided by him – and in the mean time you have to pass your time. And while in a journey we always enjoy. At least the journey is enjoyed – we do not know what will happen when we arrive – but relax and enjoy the journey because we are not driving the bus or train, we do not have to bother about the route, we do not have to bother about whether we are in the right direction or not. We know that we will arrive and this makes us relax. Remember that this journey is an unending journey so there is rejoicing and celebrating all our lives. There is freedom all our lives – no matter where we are and what we do.

In the process of being drifted, understand that God is drifting you, this drifting is your journey and during the process – celebrate and enjoy – whatever you are doing, wherever you are – just enjoy – know that what you are doing does not matter and wherever you are does not matter.

Do whatever you are doing, but change a little in the way you think. You have to keep in mind one line “NOT ME, BUT THOU ART”.

You do whatever you do, but know that it is not for you that you are doing this but for the other.

  • If you are getting married – You marry for not your happiness, but for the happiness for your spouse.
  • If you are earning money – you are not earning money for yourself or for your happiness but for your family and others
  • If you buying a house – you are buying it for the happiness for your family for the safety and security of your family
  • If you are working – you are working for the betterment of your family – to give them a good life
  • While taking decisions, while acting on your thoughts – know that all your actions will be for the other and not for yourself
  • If you are struggling – know that you are struggling for others and not yourself

It will be as if, you are slowly removing yourself from the picture, leaving behind the conflict. It is as if you are making the wheel of the world move freely by not being a block and getting crushed in between. It is as if you are making the life of others easier by not being a block on their way. It is nothing but just a change in the thought process. In this case, you put yourself last and others ahead of you. This will help to slowly do away with the “I”. The “I” will slowly vanish and you will be left with only “you”. And when the “I” vanishes, the “you” also vanishes leaving you enlightened – you become a Buddha.

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Karma Yoga – The Path of Action

krishna-bhagwat-gita

Karma yoga is a part of the Bhagawad Gita. It was said by Lord Krishna in the Battlefield of Kurukshetra to Arjuna, When Arjuna, the greatest archer of that time was sentimental and was not willing to fight the great war and run away – in the battlefield of righteousness – the war against evil – the Lord told him the Karma Yoga – or the Path of Action to enlightenment.

But The Lord Said : “Karmanyevadhikaraste ma phaleshu kadacana, ma karmaphaladeturbhurma te sango stvakarmani” (In Sanskrit)

(Meaning: Having acquired the state of a warrior you are now eligible to act in whatever way the stature of a warrior demands out of you. But you are not entitled to any benefits resulting from your actions. At the same time you cannot be in a state of inertia. you should act according to your stature without any hope of enjoying the fruits of your actions)

One has to understand that we all are born into suffering. The Buddha has said the first of the four noble truths that “Life is suffering”. Buddha, according to me was the greatest Karma Yogi, because he has nothing to desire, but he worked, with complete selflessness for the betterment of mankind. This has to be understood.

The moment we are born, we are born into suffering.  Only people who are born enlightened are not born into suffering. All others are all born into suffering and misery. No matter in how rich a family he is born into or how poor. You must have noticed that all our life, whatever we do, we do it so that we can be happy in the end.  Our goal is happiness and all our lives we strive to be happy. But unfortunately the end does not come and we keep striving. The money we earn, the work we do, the house we buy, everything is done to make us safe and secure so that we have time to be happy. Whatever we do we do it for happiness in the end.  We work to earn money and think that the day we have enough money we think that we will be happy.  We will be happy because then we will be safe and whatever comes we will be able to manage it with money. We will have a house to live, a good family and we will be happy. Happiness is our driving force.

We are always temporarily or with long term goal trying to do away with unhappiness. The following will show how:

1. We cried the moment we were born. At that time, no one taught us not cry. But we cried the moment we were born. When we were born we could only express ourselves by crying or laughing. We did not laugh, but we cried. There must have been some uneasiness inside. Otherwise we would have laughed the moment we were born. Only one man, as far as my knowledge goes laughed the moment he was born. It was Zarathustra. He was an enlightened man, one of the greatest born in history.

2. We have always cried and because of that we were given toys and chocolates. Otherwise why would we need toys? This unhappiness we have been carrying form our birth – We are carrying it from our previous life

3. There is the entertainment industry. If we are not uneasy, then why would we need entertainment?

4. There are drugs available. Why would be need drugs? What makes them so addictive?

5. There is social media these days, and we are addicted.

6. There is a hunger for money. We need very little money to live, why do we need so much money. Money keeps us occupied; it keeps us working and hides our uneasiness that is why money becomes an addiction.

7. We drive very fast and are thrilled – Why is driving fast thrilling?

8. We have adventure sports? Why is adventure sports needed if we were already thrilled?

9. We need holidays to enjoy ourselves? Why do we need enjoyment?

10. There are discotheques around in every city, there is loud music, dazzling lights, alcohol and dancing – makes us forget our uneasiness for some time.

All the above would not be necessary if the underlying unhappiness would not be there. And this is applicable to all of us. We earn all our money for these things. But these things do not help. The unhappiness keeps coming back again and again.

The question of happiness comes when we know that we are not happy. It is in our knowledge that we are unhappy inside, always. But we do not accept it. We cover it. If someone says that we are unhappy, we get angry hearing the fact that we do not look happy. This sadness or our life full of misery today is the driving force that makes us work for a better tomorrow.

This unhappiness inside and the effort of all the people in this world to strive for happiness is making the world go around. This is the law – The Buddha Calls it – Dhamma or the Law.

The continuous underlying unhappiness is the major driving force which makes us move forward in life. We react to this unhappiness. Whenever the unhappiness surfaces, we immediately react to put the unhappiness to an end. But we are misdirected. We feel that the day we earn a lot of money, the day we are secure, we will be happy. This happens because we think that the cause of our misery is the external situation. But it is not. It is the underlying unhappiness we are born with, makes us unhappy.

But this is a wrong way we work. The sadness that we want to eradicate with lots of money is not possible. It will only be temporary. If there is a lot of money, something will come up that cannot be solved with money. The cause of this sadness is something that is very misunderstood. This is the sadness we are born with. It is inherent and cannot be eradicated with money or anything external.  It will go on its own one day, automatically – without any effort it will go away and in the process enlighten you. One keeps on seeking happiness through external means till the time they find that this sadness or misery cannot be solved externally.  Whatever you do externally, one cannot solve the problem of sadness.

One has to clearly understand that whatever we do, no matter how good or how bad, how great or how small in this world, no matter how much money we gather with good or bad means, no matter how safe we think we are, the misery or sadness is not to go away forever.

We have to know that this misery or sadness is not to go forever.  It will completely go once and for all the day we become a Buddha. So we have to work in this world and know that this misery is not to go. We have to do whatever is required, being a part of this world, good and bad world and know that this misery is not to go. You can cover the misery with whatever you want, but it will only be temporary and is bound to come back again.

It is the same underlying misery coming up again and again and we are labelling it differently under different external situations.  We label it according to the external situation. But the external is as it is. But it is the same thing that is coming up again and again on the surface.

We think that once we have a house, a car, family and lots of money, we will be happy for ever. But this is not the case, the misery will erupt and we will blame it on some other person or thing for the misery, failing to understand that the cause of misery is the underlying uneasiness which was covered up temporarily by things like money, car, house etc. People with lots and lots of money are also in pain and sorrow. These external things are also not enough to make them happy for ever. This proves that life is full of suffering and cannot be solved by external means.

For everybody, the unhappiness has a quota. It may be more or less depending on the individual, but there is an end to it. I cannot quantify it. There are no units available, but it is for sure that it will end. Had this been not the case, we would not have had people like the Gautama Buddha. There were many people before and after Buddha who were enlightened. For then the unhappiness has flown out completely leaving them enlightened. For these people the quota is over.  The unhappiness stored inside has been thrown away completely and they are free. There is nothing left to do. They have achieved perfection.  

The unhappiness has to be completely thrown out.  The unhappiness is very much willing to come out, but we are constantly keeping it locked inside. It is ready to come out at once, but we have covered it tightly with a lid. We are not brave enough to let it out. We do not know what will happen, what will be the magnitude of our unhappiness. We are scared when we are little unhappy. We immediately rectify whatever even the minutest error to make us happy again, how can we let out the whole unhappiness that have been stored for thousands of lives.  We cannot. We are scared. It is definitely dangerous.

Since the unhappiness as an outward flow it has a tendency to come out. But the more we cover it, the pressure increases. The pressure keeps increasing and whenever it comes out, it comes out in more quantity.  Day by day, we become unhappier. The magnitude of unhappiness increases whenever the lid is removed even for a small time.  In everyday situations we become more and more unhappy. We become unhappier in day to day activities and we need more intense things to cover the unhappiness.  By covering it more and more we tend to delay the process. We delay our enlightenment.  Enlightenment is bound to happen to all of us. We have the seed, it only needs to flower. The moment we feel sad or uneasy, understand that we are somehow, unconsciously blocking the flow or the uneasiness which is willing to come out.  Whenever we block, we feel uneasy. If we allow the uneasiness to freely flow, there will be no problem. We have to allow this uneasiness to flow out completely.

The whole world is a process to make us enlightened. Existence provides us with all the means to get enlightened because this is the goal of existence itself. But we have separated ourselves from existence. For this we have to jump into the world and live it intensely and let out more and more unhappiness out.

To convert this unhappiness into happiness is our driving force.  Whatever we do, we do to change this unhappiness to happiness.  Without this unhappiness, we would not do a single thing. We would not make a single move. We would come to a standstill.

This effort to change our unhappiness into happiness put us in an unending cycle. We also keep moving round and round being a part of the wheel.  This effort to change our unhappiness in unhappiness makes us a part of the law of cause and effect. This effort makes us suffer our past karmas.  The objective of Karma Yoga is to make us free from our past Karmas and redeem us from the law of cause and effect.

We make this unhappiness personal.  We think that we must do something to do away with this unhappiness otherwise we will remain unhappy forever. We always do something to cover up this unhappiness. This makes things absolutely mandatory.

The urge to do away with this continuously underlying unhappiness is the source of our desires. We start desiring worldly things and think that once we fulfil our desires, we will be happy, but this is not the case. The unhappiness goes for a little while and comes back again. It was only suppressed for some time and it starts flowing again. We see that others are apparently happy and we make our goals into what we see in others today. We fail to understand that the happiness we see in others is also apparent.  They are also in the same boat.

This desire to be what someone else is a method to cover the underlying unhappiness. It gets covered for some time, gets pressurised and come out with greater force. This causes us more trouble. The moment we desire, we fall back into the same cycle. We fail and the road leads to further suffering. The fact is that the uneasiness will come out, today or tomorrow it has to. So there is no point covering it up, but we should let it out slowly.

Karma Yoga says one should do one duty, without bother striving for happiness. It says, happiness and duty should be separated forever.  For us, generally, happiness means trying to do away with the underlying unhappiness. It says one need not strive for happiness, it is of no use. It will not go, but the happiness you gain will be temporary.  All our striving for happiness is nothing but foolishness. Our effort to do away with the unhappiness and strive for happiness makes us forget our duty.

There are two ways to work:

  1. One way is as a reaction to the underlying unhappiness – striving for happiness and with our little and foolish methods trying to cover the unhappiness.  Foolish because the unhappiness will come out with full force today or tomorrow if not allowed coming out. It takes its own time. If one works this way, he is falls into a trap and is affected by the law of cause and effect, he suffers has past karma.
  1. The second method (Karma Yoga) is to understand that one has nothing personal with the unhappiness at the moment and understanding that one was born with this underlying unhappiness. One has to understand that the external situation, whatever it may be is not the cause of this unhappiness that you are having inside – it is centuries old. In following Karma Yoga, One does not try to do away with the unhappiness but lets the unhappiness or uneasiness come out in its own accord. Without bothering about the unhappiness, one has to do ones duty as per the requirement of the present moment, do whatever is right at this moment, whatever it might be. This world is a dirty place, people are mad. And at the same time, one is born in this dirty world. Being born in this dirty world, one has no option but to have active participation in this world. This may sometime require you to be bad or even worse.

Karma Yoga says, a person, who does not bother about his underlying unhappiness, does not try to cover it up with petty desires of worldly things, and works continuously in this dirty world, doing good or bad, who does not bother about his reputation, and works as per the requirement of the moment – walks the path of Action or Karma Yoga.

In the path of Karma Yoga, one may encounter many blocks, which will make him utterly unhappy. The real Karma Yogi understands and remembers that these blocks or so called unhappiness or uneasiness or misery has nothing to do with the present situation. He ignores or keeps them aside and works towards his goal. Karma Yoga says as long as one does not bother to change his unhappiness into happiness, there is absolute freedom available to him – he may be required to be bad or even worse sometimes as the situation demands, but it will not have any effect on his soul.

Karma yoga takes you out of the cycle of birth and death. It relieves you of your past karmas. It makes you walk the path to Enlightenment.

Sukhadukhe same Krtwa, labhalabhau jayajayau, tato yuddhaya yuyjyasva naivam papamavapsyasi

(Treat joy and sorrow, victory and defeat, gain and loss alike and prepare yourself for battle. Do not fear that you will be sinning).

Two Ways to Create Conciousness

The only objective of humans is to create consciousness. This should be understood. Consciousness is the Goal. Developing Consciousness is aligning oneself with the supreme intelligence. Developing Consciousness is Creativity. Developing Consciousness is Innovation. Consciousness is allowing creation to act through you.
 
You do not have to make an objective to create something new or to innovate. You just have to align yourself with Creation. You have to align yourself with existence. You have to make space for the supreme intelligence to occupy that space and work. For that you have to delete some files from your memory and make space for the intelligence, the only intelligence, to work. Then you will be governed by the supreme intelligence and in that space, everything is put right. Everything is restored to its original form. The anomalies are there because we have started using our so called intelligence. 

When space is created, Creation works through and you are just an agent.

There are two ways to Create consciousness or Create Spaces within. There may be more, but I will elaborate on only these two.

1.  Inwardly Directed (In the Bhagwad Gita, Lord Krishna has referred to it as Antarmukhi, Inwardly directed or facing inwards). This is the way of Gautama Buddha, this is the way of Meditation.

2. Outwardly Directed (In the Bhagwad Gita, Lord Krishna has referred to it as Bahirmukhi, outwardly directed or facing outwards). This is the way of Krishna, this is the way of Action. This way to create consciousness was told to Arjuna by Lord Krishna, just before the famous battle of Mahabharata, when Arjuna was reluctant to fight. 

Both the routes are different but they help you achieve the same – they create spaces within for the Supreme Intelligence work.

And I will repeat, in this space, the unimaginable can happen. Remember This!

Suffering Deters Creation

We are so much involved in our suffering that we do not create. Our suffering has taken us away from the creative intelligence. It is a vicious cycle. The more we suffer, the more we are involved in our suffering. And the more we are involved in our suffering, the more we go away from creation.


Suffering leads to our involvement with more suffering and everyday it takes us away from the creative intelligence. How can we be with the creative intelligence, we are so involved with suffering. We do no longer create. We have to go to the roots of suffering and eradicate it completely so that we go closer to the creative intelligence, the only one intelligence. 

The moment we remove suffering, we start creating. There is no effort required. It is automatic. The the creative intelligence starts creating through you.

There is one goal for Humans. It is to create Consciousness. Expand it so that it covers the whole universe or rather I should say, covers millions of universes. There is no other goal. Believe me there is no other goal. Remember this.
 
All confusions is because of this one confusion – whether to create consciousness or not create consciousness. We are afraid, we are skeptical because we do not know what will happen if we enter that space. This is what keeps us in confusion, not only in this life, but life after life. All other confusions, fear, dilemma are branches of this one confusion – Whether to Create or not to create consciousness. This confusion is the confusion of humanity. 
 
I have written in my previous posts that this consciousness is the supreme intelligence. It is Creation. It is existence. This is the only intelligence that runs everything in this world, starting from the working of microscopic cells in your body to supernovas million of light years away.  It is the same intelligence. This intelligence is what you call is GOD. This intelligence exists in your consciousness.
 
The intelligence is was there, is there and will be there, whether humans are there or not. This intelligence is the only “Right” and all others are wrong. We have separated ourselves from this intelligence. We have developed our own selves. This separated piece, that we called “our own intelligence” is our ego. It does not allow the supreme intelligence to function. This “our own intelligence” has become a cause of our misery. It has given rise to desires, dreams and Goals. We have forgotten he only goal, because we have separated ourselves and created our own goals. This separates us because we think that we are all and there is nothing else.
 
But Nature is not. See the tree, see the clouds, see the birds, the animals, the forests. Are they in trouble? No. Humans have put them in so much trouble. We kill animals, cut trees for our selfish desires. We destroy nature. This is a clear proof that we have separated ourselves from that supreme intelligence. 
 
God or the supreme intelligence does not want you to be sick. It does not want you to suffer. But we do suffer. Both mentally and physically. Go to the hospitals and see the condition there. Go to a mental asylum an see how sad it is. We are all fighting, competing with each other. We are always in a mood to punish each other. We are happy when we exploit another. 

This consciousness is emptiness. It is no-thing-ness. How can it create so much trouble.

It does not want you to fight court battles
It does not want you to have fatal diseases
It does not want you to breakup with your girlfriend
It does not want you to suffer divorce
It does not want you to have a bad relationship with anyone
It does not want you to meet with an accident
It does not want to become handicapped
It does not want you to loose your job

How can it? It is No-thing. No thoughts, no desires, no goals, no objectives. How can it do all these things. It is just it is. It is the “is-ness”.

The moment you have access, all these above mention things will not happen. They will be restored to the original form.

You start healing. There is more and more space. The moment these things do not happen, you become one with the creative intelligence, the only intelligence, and there will open up endless possibilities. Things will start getting restored to what they are supposed to be.

These things occurred because we have created our own intelligence, separated from the supreme intelligence.
 
I can assure you that if you start creating awareness, if you start creating space, things will change. The supreme intelligence will fill up that space you have created and your life will be aligned with the intelligence, the only intelligence. Remember there is no other intelligence. Our suffering exists because we have created our own intelligence. All that is created is all artificial and thus we have separated from the supreme intelligence.
 
And in that space so created, Nothing can go wrong. Because all wrong are of humans, all suffering are of humans. We make each other suffer more than anything else. When that space is created everything in your life will be aligned with the supreme and it will be GOD’s will.
 
We don’t know what the supreme Intelligence will create in the space created. Don’t bother to know. Let it work. Give it space to work. You can only give it an opportunity by creating spaces within.
 
Remember that your only goal is to create consciousness. And then everything takes care of itself.

Pink Floyd and Consciousness

This is the most enlightening song I have ever heard. In the number “Coming Back to Life”, the author has referred to the human consciousness.  The following is my interpretation of the same number.

 “Coming Back To Life”

Where were you when I was burned and broken
While the days slipped by from my window watching
Where were you when I was hurt and I was helpless
Because the things you say and the things you do surround me
While you were hanging yourself on someone else’s words
Dying to believe in what you heard
I was staring straight into the shining sun

Lost in thought and lost in time
While the seeds of life and the seeds of change were planted
Outside the rain fell dark and slow
While I pondered on this dangerous but irresistible pastime
I took a heavenly ride through our silence
I knew the moment had arrived
For killing the past and coming back to life

I took a heavenly ride through our silence
I knew the waiting had begun
And headed straight..into the shining sun
 
 
Let us go into it one by one:
 
Where were you when I was burned and broken
While the days slipped by from my window watching….
 
By “you” the author has meant his Ego. He has personified the ego. Only one who has experienced his own ego, will be able to personify it. Because your ego is no one but who you think you are. Ego is false “you” created by the society. Ego can be experienced only be being aware. When the author wrote the song, he was aware. He was probably enlightened. He has understood that he is divided, he is split. He is understood that the Ego is a false self and he had mistakenly taken the ego as himself. He had taken the ego as his best friend, his best companion and always listened to what the ego said. 
 
And later being with the ego, one goes mad, one gets split and divided. The ego is the only cause of suffering in this world. The author must have suffered. But later when he found the cause of his suffering, he wrote this song.
 
That is why he says..”where were yo u, when I was burnt and broken”. The author says that he had suffered and was devastated, he was completely finished. What happens to an individual when one gets burnt? He suffers. He was calling his fried, his ego, and asking him that where was he, when he was so devastated and why did he not come to save him at that time of suffering.
 
He was so much involved with the ego that he did not know what is going on outside. He had no idea when it was day and when it was night. The days slipped by..without any notice.
 
The ego is nothing but your mind. It is all accumulated knowledge, your memory. All old stuff. It is not life, it is old. It is suffering. The author was very deeply involved with his mind and this lead to his madness.
 
Where were you when I was hurt and I was helpless
Because the things you say and the things you do surround me….
 
The author was hurt and he was helpless. He was bound to be helpless. He was not able to do anything. How can he? You cannot live in the past and take care of the present. You cannot live in your mind solve your present problems. You have to come out of your mind, which is your ego and take care of the present moment. You have to be present. That is why he was helpless. He was hurt but was not able to heal himself. He was being hurt now and he lives in his mind. There occurs a gap between your present and your past, which is your mind, your ego. He was not able to heal himself. He was hurt.
 
That is why he says, “because the things you say and the things you do surround me”. All he was surrounded by was his past and completely forgot to be here and now.

We all are dragged into our pasts. The mind goes into auto mode and keeps us in our minds. This should be understood.
 
While you were hanging yourself on someone else’s words
Dying to believe in what you heard
I was staring straight into the shining sun
 
Remember, the Ego is nothing but the society, it is what other people say, it is what the other people have taught you, forced upon you since the time you were born. You belong the the society. We do not belong to ourselves but we belong to the society. Society tells us what is right and what is wrong. The society decides for us. That is why we always have a hunger for approval. We have hunger for fame. And this has given rise to so may social media web sites, all liking one another and approving one another. The Ego always listens to the others. That is why he says..”While you were hanging yourself on someone else’s words…”. Remember, this is the nature of the ego. The society made us. How can now we not crave for approval, how can we not listen?
 
The ego always believes in the other, whatever comes he believes, because it is the product of the society. He is a slave to the society and is bound to listen. The ego is  slave and that is why he is “dying to believe”.
 
“While the ego was listening and believing in others I was handicapped. I was staring straight into the shinning sun. I had no work to do. Because the ego is a slave, I became a slave. I became mad”.  This is what he meant. A person is bound to go mad. How can he follow the society. His own consciousness always interfered with the ego. And how many time will he listen to. He is sure to go mad. Anyone is bound to go mad. 
 
Lost in thought and lost in time
While the seeds of life and the seeds of change were planted
 
See now what he says. He says, he was lost in thought. This means that he was lost in his mind. He was lost in all his accumulated  knowledge. Time is nothing but his past and future. He was lost in imagination. 
 
This is the state of most of the people. They are either lost in their past or imagining about the future. The future is also your past. Because future is all imagination. We imagine what we know, we do not imagine the anything that is beyond our knowledge. It is just a projection of the past. Projection of the knowledge accumulated in the past.
 
He says that he was lost while all the changes happen. Changes never happen the past or future. Changes happen now and here. And we was not changing with the change. He was physically present but mentally absent. He was in his future or past. He did not change. What happens if you do not change, you get mad. It is bound to happen.
 
Outside the rain fell dark and slow
While I pondered on this dangerous but irresistible pastime
 
He says that he was not aware of what was happening. Whether it is raining or snowing or it was dark. He as so much involved in his ego. He was unaware of the present moment, which lead him to madness.
 
He says that the outside is changing while he was thinking about his past and future and was never in the moment.  He says that this thinking is irresistible because all our thinking is automatic. Because of our conditioning, our thinking goes into auto mode. You must have noticed, whenever you are sitting alone doing  nothing. So many thoughts keep coming. You just cannot avoid. The mind goes into the past and then to the future. It keeps swinging between the past and future. It is never in this present moment. That is why he says this thinking is irresistible and it has automatically become a past time.
 
I took a heavenly ride through our silence
I knew the moment had arrived
For killing the past and coming back to life
 
He then suddenly became aware of  his Ego and you have seen that he has personified it. If he was not aware, he would have never been able to personify it. He understood that it is  a false self if his and dissociated himself from the Ego. He dissociated himself from his mind, this thoughts, his past and future and was intensely present in this moment. He was here and how, where exactly the seeds of life and seeds of change were being planted.
 
He became aware of his consciousness, the endless space available beyond the mind. The mind, his thoughts and his past and future became small and there was “silence” around. He took a heavenly ride. The ride through the silence or consciousness is heavenly because all the mind, the thoughts, the past and the future, his ego has been left behind. That is why he felt heavenly as if he has reached heaven, he has reached GOD. This silence is our consciousness. This silence is the supreme intelligence, the only intelligence that runs existence. It is creation.  
 
He says that this silence is OURS. He meant that this silence is available to all of us and if we want we can also access it. Only we have to develop awareness. He says that the moment you develop awareness, you leave the past, the future, the mind, the ego, behind and start living. 
 
One comes back to life.

I took a heavenly ride through our silence
I knew the waiting had begun
And headed straight..into the shining sun


He became aware of his ego, his mind and continued to stay in the silence. That is why probably he has repeated the line “I took a heavenly ride through our silence” .He was continuously aware and continuously accessed his consciousness. 
 
He says that the “waiting had begun”. The waiting for what? Waiting for the miracle to happen. In the silence, miracles happens and  probably the miracle happened in the form of this song.

Feelings, Emotions and the Ego

Our feelings and emotions also play a major role in strengthening the ego.

Most of us are unconscious of the presence of these identities, which makes us live in our imaginary worlds, without the knowledge that we are living in this imaginary worlds. We keep labeling situations as good and bad, depending on whether the situations go with or go against our imagined identities. Whenever it goes against it, feel bad. We become sad and depressed. We feel like a failure and a loser.

Since we are more with our imaginary identities without knowing. Most of the situations that come up in our lives are  are new and we are old, old because we live in our identities and our identities are based on our knowledge and knowledge is old, it is of the past. As a result, most of the situations that we encounter in our daily lives are labelled “Bad”. All bad situations give rise to some feelings of resistance and these are either fear, sorrow, sadness. This is the same feeling of resistance that happens in all situations we oppose mentally , but we term them depending on a particular situation. 

The more we are with our ego or with our imaginary identities, the more sad we are and we develop an identity out of that feeling. 

We become one with the so called “sad” feeling and resist any other feeling. All other feelings of joy, happiness and enthusiasm are resisted. Whenever the so called “good” happens, we are not able to take it because it does not go with our identity of a sad and depressed person. 

This is why almost all of us are sad and depressed most of the time. Whenever any situation arise, that is resisted, all the situations in the past that had given rise to the same feeling come up and become more depressed.
 
A person who has developed a sad identity over the years, he has no option but to remain sad. The feeling persists all the time continuously and that person is most of the time, imagining situations that gave rise to similar feelings in the past and in his imagination resists that feeling. he is constantly in his imagination fighting with the imagination. This increases his feeling of resistance and he becomes very very sad. The more this feeling increases in intensity, the more his sad identity gets strengthened and again makes him imagine more of it. This makes him fall into a vicious cycle.
 
Since these imaginations and feelings are constantly getting strengthened, the become pressure tight in our mind. The feelings and imaginations associated with your major identity or your major ego occupy maximum space in your mind and are always ready to come out. Just a small pin prick and it flows out. 

This pin prick is nothing but your lack of the intensity of your presence  here and now.
 
When you encounter a situation that does not match with one of your identities, there occurs some uneasiness inside. There is some resistance. Some emotions occur. This emotion invokes all the imaginations in the past that gave rise to similar feelings. The feeling immediately takes you to another land in your imagination, another unwanted and dreadful situation. And the feeling again increases in intensity and invokes more thoughts and imaginations.

Even if the situation is not available in the database of the mind, it will create a situation using all the objects that the mind has gathered till date. Just to enhance the feeling of resistance or uneasiness.

When the person with a sad imaginary identity or a sad ego is not doing anything, his feelings of sadness will pop out. They were already in a pressure tight vessel in the mind and just needs a little pin hole to come out. 
This pinhole is nothing but your lack of presence in the place where you are. 
You always have to force your presence in the place where you are. Since you already have a sad identity, the feeling of resistance to anything pleasant always persists, the uneasiness is always with you. You have become your feeling. You become your uneasiness. To have this feeling to continuously persist, there are imaginations happening all the time of situations in the past, which gave rise to such feelings of resistance. You start imagining all the situations in the past that lead to this feeling of resistance. With those imaginations more sad you become, and more imaginations come up. And this continues.